zhizhiyanyan

2008-02-27T05:32:00.000-08:00

life is so unfruitful .

i'm so worry bout something .

pray that my mum gonna be alright..

i miss boyfriend so much.

yet now , sms-ed less than 10 smses in the morning ,

one call a day .

i should just get used to it .

Desmond called me & we chatted (:

haha , so funny laas him -.-"

oh yeaa , i had a notebook which wrote down everything ,

what happened everysingle day of my life ,

which sometimes i didnt voiced or shared out(:

& yeah , i love my notebook :D

I hope everything is gonna be fine , cos i dont wnat to fall agn ..

2008-02-25T03:22:00.001-08:00

backed to blog again ,
i'm v tired ..
wanted to take a rest):

2008-02-24T07:37:00.000-08:00

things gone this way .
i felt red light in our relationship blinking .
ya , everything is my fault ,
why cant you just understand me ?
i'm now facing probs in my family .
yet , i still have to masked up with happiness .
to face the world & you .
how would you felt if i were you ?
tired & sick , m i right ?
everytime , i need to have alot of patience to bear with everything ,
you kno my patience is LIMITED .
not only me , same goes to everyone .
somethings i cant said out .
why you still want me said out ?
wat's the benefits ?
nothing right ?
when i dont tell you , this is the fucking attitude & face you gave ,
sometime , i think that you are comparing me with Clara IN UR HEART !
maybe somethings , i cant do it good but Clara can do it .
i dont kno .
i dont kno what you're thinking .
lm thinks the same way with me .
if i ever know ever truth , i guess i will nvr forgive you , nomatter how i love you .
in this relationship .
m i the one who kept hurting you ?
but why the words you said to me felt sour & cry .
m i kept making you cry ?
but why m i always the first one to dropped so many tears for you .
m i making you worry ?
why when i'm worried for you , you said i think too much .
m i not caring enough ?
then why everyword i told you , you will like nvr listen .
m i not loving enough .
becos you dont change .
m i not trusting you ?
bcos you nvr been honest with me , you dint tell me the truth .
m i struggling in this relationship ?
nvr , no matter what , i swallow everything , i kept everything to myself jus to maintain our relationship .
maybe , i just aint a good girlfriend at all .
i had been single for more than half year ,
but in the end i choose to trust you & be with you .
is this the things i wanna get ?
what's happening now ?
who is changing ?
you always called me cheer up , stay strong .
yayayaya , said is easy , do is like fuck diffcult .
now i cant even handle my family probs , & this relationship porbs came in .
wth ?!
i hope i can nvr see a penknife infront of me .
i would jus slash it without a second thought .
i'm so tired );

2008-01-31T06:12:00.000-08:00

i want to runaway from home ,
yes , i cant stand staying at this sickening home ,
why cant she understand me urhs ?
all blames on me , treat me like fuck is it ?
why cant you put jus a lil trust in me ?
jus alil will do .
why everything is my fault ?
i'm alrd so stress-ed up by fucking lots things .
i jus want to go home & rest .
why i reach home & you are fucking me with all ur jiao wei .
i get so fed-up , sad , hurt & broken .
why ?
i try to be v best in home .
i dont cause trouble anymore .
why cant you changed ur mindset towards me ?
why why ?
i try to bear with you , when you shouted at me for nothing .
i talked back nicely .
see what idiot attitude you're giving me huh ?!
i really worried i cant take it anymore .
i would just slashed my wrist with penknife .
sorry for my stupidness , everyone .
i kno is stupid .
but when you're in the same situation as me ,
you wont think so much .
you guys , killed me instead !
D;

2008-01-30T08:22:00.000-08:00

i'm here to update my blog ^^
wasnt really fruitful nowadays .
bad news came aft one another .
stress-ed up by studies & friendship& family .
i'm losing out i guess .
changes were far to dramastic .
i really can't take it , really cant .
there is time i really cant sleep .
there is time i'm far too tired .
tooo tired to bother anything .
my attitude has been changed back to the past .
that idiot attitude .
i'm moving back to the past . how ?
i hate my past ,
i felt shameful & dirty .
i dont want .
devil tempting me to go the wrong way , which i used to walked .
i want to cry ...
i had to buck up my studies also ,
i cant failed anymore ..
if things gone worst now or later ,
i guess i wont be sitting here blogging anymore .
bloody scenes will be taken .
even though i kno how to comfort & advise pple ,
why cant i do it to myself huh ?
useless eh ?
i hate that .
argghh ,
i had nothing to say anymore ,
GOODNIGHTS !

2008-01-27T06:24:00.000-08:00

photos are frm dont kno when de -.-"

& some were frm today :D

woke up late today , went for service(:

should woke up at 700am & went out of my hse at750 .

&i'm damm lateee ):

i woke up at 728 !

chiong all the way non stop .

went out at 754 i guess ?

haha , bus-ed alone ,

emoemo-.-"

i love the been alone , the beautiful slient peace ,

is so great .

reach tamp , meet up with huiyi ! :D

it's been long long time seems i saw her (:

mrt-ed to expo .

service was great :D

i really the the presence thr .

:DDDD .

atmosphere thr was "WOAH" ! (:

aft service went to lunch .

saw something which should be UNSEEM !

oh my tian , SO R.A lo ! >_________<

heeee .

had prayer meeting at 130 .

& we ate like damm fast .

stuff the burger & fries in our mouth like nobody's business -.-"

ran to hall 8 straight aft eating .

frm hall 3 i guess ?

ran all the way till hall 8 .

imagined , jus finish eating & we were running like hell .

OH MY TIAN !

& reach hall 8 , my waist thr were like PAIN !

had diffculty in walking that time .

my God , PAIN LIKE HELL .

stuff & stufff .

went to far east aft everything .

& i been tricked alot alot of time by Desmond & other N363 members .

-.-"

i'm like so stupid can ?!

hahaha ,

met up with zhu (:

shooped ard with N363 (:

go off first .

met lm for dinner .

crapped & laughed alot .

aft that pei zhu wait for bus & lm & leenah went my hse :D

ohh , i'm so crazy at thr can ?!

-.-" !!

take tons of pics .

all i can said , we love cameras :D

all this while i had been suffering alot .

thanks my beloved frens ,especially , leemun , nigel , ronne , leenah & dawson (:

thanks for the support & unlimited care you gave .

:D loves !

2008-01-26T07:57:00.000-08:00

ytd pictures (:

2008-01-25T20:42:00.000-08:00

sch was normal ytd ^^
meet up with nigel , daw & ken aft sch .
atmosphere thr was really really v bad . i'm stuck in the middle .
i really wanted to cry at thr .
called ronne, talk to her & i cried .
i felt so terrible thr .
i understand how lm felt bcos of her family probs .
it's ok .
aft that bus-ed to lm hse thr .
meet with ronne at thr .
talk-ed talk-ed .
called zhenyu come down chatted bout she & joanathan the things .
hope she she feeling better urhs .
aft that , lm & her sister came down slack & went to point & ah jieee & daw had their dinner (:
went home aft that (:
lm , ronne , leenah came over my hse & slack .
while de guys went home :D
ronne went home first .
then lm & leenah stay-ed till 11 something i guess .
haha , chatted alot .
take photos & laughed like hell .
thanks to them nvr make my day went dulll D;
& ah jieeee also (:
my best sisters (:
NIGEL :D
leemun , leenah & i were chatting bout somethings .
& we kept on WOAH WOAH !
hahahah
funny duh .
they went home aft that (:
sms-ed with ah jieeeee ^^
phone-ed with zhu .
hang up , & had somewhateva things with him .
why he want to lied ?
told ah jieee , & i cried .
sign ~
sms-ing ah jieeee , & fall alseep .
tired tired lurhs .
morning wake up , had alil quarrel .
sms ronne , replied nigel ah jiee sms (:
saw miss-ed call frm lm is ytd midnight de :D
went to sleep agn aft that .
recived call frm lm -.-"
chatted till i wake up .
hahah .
i hope i can still be in a relationship with you .
yes , i love you . but why you wnated to hurt me ?
why you are so self centered ?
why why why ?
why did you want to lied ?
why ?
why you had changed ?
my heart aching terirble badly ): sign !
pics will be uploaded soon (:

2008-01-24T03:29:00.000-08:00

this is my personal blog eh (:
all my feelings will be posted here .
only some pple who are important to me will get to kno this blog (:
my old blog will be left ard one month (:
hoho .
the reasons i wanted to left my that blog alone for 1 month .
bcos of Ken .
whateva i blogged he will said alot of things .
that make me felt terrible bad & sad .
so i decided to opened a personal blog without him knowing (:
okays .
i'm wondering who is the one thinking too much ?
should be him ba ?
lm also think so .
whateva .
he did really changed alot alot .
like i dont even kno him ?
wth .
ok , school was fun but then i feeling v tired urhs ):
lesson was ok ^^
chem test sucks i tell you .
sure failed i guess ,
aft sch stay for class meeting .
i swear Mrs Mamohan was really funny (:
she is a great teacher (:
everywords she said make us laughed our ass out .
& she knew taht we are hungry .
she gave nurul money to buy us chocolates (:
hoho .
she is a great teacher (:
did our class decorations things :D
did somethings :x
SHHHHHHH !
heee .
home-ed & nothing much .
zhu , you did changed , but then i dont kno how to tell you .
i dare to write here cos you will not come here .
everytime i talked on phone with you ,
i felt like crying .
i hope i wont give up .
my heart aching badly .
lastly i love3a3 girls :D